Excerpts - WIPpet Wednesday

WIPpet Wednesday – March 16

It’s time for WIPpet Wednesday! But first, my weekly progress. I have made great headway in rewriting on my 2nd Manuscript. While that’s awesome, that also means that I’ll have to definitely go through again after rewriting, because a large chunk of it will be newly written…fun…

In going through my 2nd MS, I’ve discovered things about my first book that need to be altered. More fun! So I’m currently going through my first book again…I can’t even count how many times I’ve gone through this first book.

Ok – onward.

If you’re unfamiliar with WIPpet Wednesday, it’s a great weekly meme hosted by Emily Witt where authors can share excerpts from Works in Progress. I have greatly enjoyed reading others’ WIPs and getting to know other authors’ stories.

Today, I have a section from my 2nd Manuscript.Sorry – I’m kind of jumping backwards, way backwards, before Joel and Serena go on a date together, she was dating this slime ball below. I think I need to organize a series of excerpts in order…

Math: 3/16 – 16 – 3 = 13 paragraphs 

Context: The way the scene is written should provide enough context.


            “Chris,” she called as she entered the kitchen, readjusting her towel to keep herself modest. He sat reading the morning newspaper, still finishing his meal. “I got a check from my insurance company for the amount of the car yesterday…have you seen it?”

“You didn’t tell me about any check,” he said.

“I was going to tell you this morning,”


She let out a sharp, exasperated breath. “Have you seen it?” she repeated. “I had put it on my nightstand so that I wouldn’t forget to tell you about it,” she explained.

“I found it—and put it somewhere safe,”

“You did what?” She stared at him, trying to comprehend. “Where did you put it?”

“Somewhere safe.” he reiterated, frowning at her. “We can use that money later on for any emergencies that come up,” He sipped his coffee. “You should’ve told me about it right away,”

“That’s my money,” She stepped closer. He stood to his feet, glaring at her now, his large frame imposing.

“That’s our money,” he corrected. She glared right back at him. Maybe he’s right…we live under the same roof…She thought. But we’re not even married. We’re not even engaged!

“It’s in my name,” she insisted. He closed the distance between them and slapped her across the face, the force of his hand eliciting a gasp.

“Don’t talk back to me! We live in a shared relationship. What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours.” She doubted the latter part of his statement, but she didn’t dare say any of her thoughts aloud.

“I’m sorry,” she replied automatically

There you have it. How are your WIPs coming along? Leave me a link to yours?


15 Comments on “WIPpet Wednesday – March 16

  1. Oh, gosh. I know someone who left a similar situation where he controlled all the money. She had to negotiate not to have to take any of his debt in their divorce. Chris is being horrible here. That last “I’m sorry” from her really hit me in the gut.

  2. I seriously want to punch him in the throat. I’m a violent reader(lol). But, I seriously hope he gets what’s coming to him.

    1. LOL thank you! It’s funny you mention that, because I have been, as the writer, trying to find a way to bring out a sympathetic side of him, to make him authentic as a person. Not in this scene. But in future scenes.

  3. This type of woman makes my heart bleed because it speaks of so many situations today. What I can say is you had my attention. I only hope that she experiences redemption and get out of the relationship.

    1. Thank you! My goal for her is to bring her to a place of peace throughout the story. I’ve begun to compile a series of excerpts in order so that people can see that kind of progression.

  4. I know someone who ended up with the debt incurred by an abusive (and sneaky) spouse. The threats terrified her. She lost her home, her financial security…but she’s out of that relationship, and happy. Some things no amount of money can make up for.

    She should never have put that check where Chris could find it. It was her money; he didn’t need to know about it. On the other hand, if she’d tried to use it, she’d be in a different kind of trouble.

    My (more extensive than I’d like) experience living within an abusive family – there’s always something at the heart of someone treating others this way. The more you delve how Chris got to be this way, the more human and potentially redeemable he’ll become.

    But, so far, this is gripping writing!

    1. Thank you so much! Yes the way I wrote Serenas character she doesn’t know she’s in over heard just yet. This relationship is quite new. There is a lot to her character. I could maybe do an interview. Hmm. Thank you for your insight it helps to encourage me!

  5. What a powerful excerpt! These types of situations get me so angry & you write so very well. Serena deserves a better life than that. I hope she gets it 🙂
    Thanks for sharing your beautiful words. You are a brilliant storyteller <3

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