The 5 Love Languages

The 5 love languages: Receiving gifts

I confess, when beginning this blog series, I thought it would be interesting to go from my strengths directly to my weakness. I’m still deciding where to place this particular entry in the series:

The Lilypad

This was one of the lowest scoring love languages for me. I’m both terrible at giving gifts and terrible at receiving gifts. I’m picky and I’m really hard to shop for. AND I don’t particularly enjoy shopping for extravagant gifts for other people. It takes me longer, and it stresses me out.

This is the Receiving Gifts definition from the 5 love languages website:

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

In my experience, I have noticed, for some people (I can name 3 people I know personally), it’s not only what they receive in the form of a gift that is important to them emotionally, but the fact that they enjoy giving gifts to people they care about. They enjoy the process of being thoughtful and buying/making things for others more than other people might.

I always wonder why I am the way I am. Why is gift giving and receiving so hard for me?

But I know I have other strengths. I’m not afraid to talk to people. I’m not afraid of being in a crowd. Everyone’s personalities are different, and those that love you will respect that. But respect goes both ways. One of the things I’ve learned throughout my marriage is that personality differences can either cause contention, or they can bring your relationship excitement – but it all depends on your attitude. I confess, my attitude has not always been the best. I’m opinionated, outgoing, sometimes I’m controlling, and sometimes unobservant and oblivious to things that my husband does or cares about. What I have been focusing on in recent years is being more observant, remembering how to respect the differences in my husband, and the differences in other people’s personalities, and these 5 love languages are the perfect place to start. Just because you are not a person who enjoys giving or receiving gifts, does not mean you should ignore the other people in your life who love to receive gifts.

Question to think about: What differences in personality do you notice in your friends and family? 

All information in this and other posts in this series has come not only from my own experiences and observations, having been married for 9 years, but also from Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 love Languages, along with research done in his website. I did not receive a copy of his book in exchange for any kind of review or promotion.